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Chapter 7 - Alipungatan

Paano ko hinarap ang aking Cognitive Dissonance noong 2020?
Nag-schedule na si pangulo upang mag-announce kung ano strategy sa Metro Manila dahil sinasabi ng
DOH na kakailangan icontain ang virus. Bawasan ang mga bumabyahe at kung maari ay essential
workers muna at iclose ang non-essential businesses lalo na ang mga lugar na madaming tao.
March 1-March 15 , 2019 Ang unang quarantine sa Metro Manila. Tinawag ito na Enhanced Community
Quarantine (ECQ).
March 16- April 12, 2019 Luzon wide ECQ
Eto yung buwan na sobrang lakas ng cognitive dissonance ko hanggang April. Napanuod ko na nga yung
video and inaral yung mga news sources, takot na takot pa din ako para sa virus.
Syempre di ko pa sigurado kung ano talaga nangyayari sa loob ng China. Inisip ko din meron akong anak
na 2 years old at mas mabuti nang mag-ingat kesa madamay anak ko.
I was posting on facebook at sinabi na pauwiin na lang mga nagsisimba. I was fearful and careful about
the virus. My mindset was, at that time: kung lumabag ka sa protocols like social distancing, wearing
masks, going out unnecessarily, YOU are endangering my kid! You are endangering my family!
At that time, I was even contemplating if I was in the right stage of my life. I was questioning if I was in
the right relationship. If I was in the right environment. If I was in the right career or doing the right
financial sustenance. We didn't have lots of savings. Wala na trabaho misis ko that time. So dumagdag pa
yung iisipin ko. I borrowed money from a lot of people para lang maitawid before ko maset-up yung
business ko and/or makahanap din ng income. I was anxious about the future. I think a lot of us are that
time.

I was reminded of my traumas, arguments with the wife, maybe another eruption happening, what could
be worse than eruptions and a pandemic right?
As time passes by dumadami yung cases ng COVID-19. Everyday na dumagdag yung cases. Padagdag ng
padagdag yung takot. Kailangan daw ma-flattern yung curve. Sobrang strict namin sa bahay. Sa labas
kami naliligo at kahit yung mga bata hindi man lang makapunta ng garden or sa harap ng bahay. We had
our supply of alcohol and sanitizers, masks.
Nakakalungkot lang may mga nagtake advantage ng situation. Ang daming naghoard ng masks and
alcohol. Wala ka na mabili sa market the first few weeks nung quarantine. Atleast hindi tulad sa western
countries, paunahan sa tissue. Buti na lang tabo sa Pinas. Hehe. Tabo for life!
The front liners were busy. They were put on mainstream media as heroes, and I respected that. There was
a “pandemic” and our frontline Doctor, Nurses, etc. Were lauded.
Ang taas ng tingin ko sa mga security guard na araw araw humaharap sa mga tao at nagsusukat ng
temperature nila. Sa mga cashier sa mall. At inis na inis naman ako kapag meron sa facebook group ng
village namin na nasa Park at naglalaro. Inis na inis din ako sa mga nagbibike or naglalakad sa labas
kapag meron.
Si mama ang lumalabas sa amin noon. Bayani ang tingin ko sakanya. Sino sainyo nakatoka noon? Parang
si Katniss Everdeen lang, ang sarap sa pakiramdam magsabi ng "I volunteer!" at susugod sa grocery store
nakapandigmang facemask at faceshield! Buti na lang si mama walang takot noon, masaya pang
nag-grogrocery. Kalalake kong tao never akong lumabas para mag-grocery, never akong lumabas sa
Village noong lockdown. Hanggang tapat lang ng bahay, yun ay isang buwan pa ang nakalipas.
I wrote this on Facebook noong may cognitive dissonance pa ako:
“It's sad that as a country, we're not prepared for this. Yes, maybe we can limit the number of casualties in
the country. But a month long lockdown will cause bankruptcy for a lot of people first.
Pick your poison. Did we somehow end up in a system where we can lose the right to live? Others have
no choice but to go to work or find money in the middle of a lockdown. People are losing businesses
because a lot of it depend on social gatherings and mass transportation.
Universal Basic Income should be a priority bill. Get the budget from taxing tech and automation
industry. I supported this democrat candidate Andrew Yang, and He campaigns for this main message.A
trickle up economy. Give money to people (rich,middle class or poor). Rich can give it away, middle class
and poor wont go hungry. More purchasing power, businesses thrive, more tax government collects. But I
100% believe an entrepreneur will be the first to do this before politicians actually implement this.
I also think a solution to an event like this so that we're all prepared next time is promoting offgrid
homestead communities. I always thought that to have freedom and security in this world you either have
to:
1. Have a lot of money 2.
2. Set up a situation where you have less money but you wont need more
Offgrid homesteads can have year-round food, sustainable water and electricity. You won't need to worry
about bills and going hungry.

Imagine if Real Estate developers thought of these before profit? Subdivisions, full of fruit bearing trees,
pocket veggie gardens, where a culture of sharing and food access is a must.
I hope that when this pandemic is over, we evolve to a new community. We get better as a community and
as a country. The next time shit hits the fan, we're ready.”
End of Post
I was aware that liberty was taken from us. I was thinking of solutions instead of marinating myself in
fear of the current crisis. I wasn't fully awake at this time of the scamdemic but I was positive. Whoever
made strong contributions to stopping the virus or helping people in need during that time ,I supported.
Inisip ko nun na kapag di ako sumunod baka lalong tumagal yung lockdown. Mas maraming hindi
makakapagtrabaho kapag di ako tumulong na mag #FlattenTheCurve. Na ang mga tinuro ng media na
protocol at ng DOH/W.H.O. Are the best ways na hindi ako magkasakit at ang pamilya ko.
Inisip ko din na kapag mas madaming mag-mask at di lumabas at magtulungan lahat ng Pilipino gawin
yun, maari nga maflatten yung curve ng mortality rate/ death rate.
Inisip ko din na ang mga protocols nila ang the best na paraan para bumalik ang ekonomiya. Naguguilty
ako kapag di ako nakapag-alcohol pag lumabas, kapag wala akong mask pag lumabas.
Ayaw ko rin mapahiya sa mga kapitbahay at sa facebook group chat na baka may kumuha ng litrato ko
kung lalabas ako kaya isang buwan wala talagang labasan. Tiis talaga.
Di rin mawala sa isip ko kung anong galit mararamdaman ng asawa ko ng pamilya ko, kung magka virus
ang anak ko. Ayaw ko sila magalit sakin.
At dahil D.O.H/W.H.O. Naman ang nagsabi at sila ang national at global health authorities, at punong
puno naman sila ng Doctors and Scientists doon, malamang susundin ko na lang, kasi mga eksperto
naman sila at “backed up” naman ng Science mga protocols nila.
Di ba ang daming iniisip? Isa o karamihan dyan naisip mo din, naramdaman mo din. Pero sa lahat ng ito,
inisip mo ba kung may other side ang story? Look beyond sa mga nirereport?
March 23, I remember the seed that was planted. I saw a video. Compilation ng local news TV stations sa
US. Ang mensahe ay ang pagbabantay sa fake news sa social media. Nung dumaan yung video, napansin
ko ilang counties/ local news, state news, ay pareparehas ng script. Sinubukan ko magresearch kung iilan
lang ba ang may-ari ng mga news outlet sa U.S.
Mula anim (6) na corporations naging Apat na lang pala. Hindi ba monopoly yun? At nakakapagtaka
bakit naman kailangan na mays script ang bawat isa? Hindi ba kayang mag isip ng mga reporter?
At kung meron silang isang segment na scripted...ano pa kaya ang mga scripted nilang mensahe o balita?
Matagal ko nang alam (Mga 15 or 16 ako nun) na kapag paulit ulit mong naririnig ang isang bagay,
mapapaniwala ka rin subconsciously. Alam ko to kasi nag-open up sakin ang kapatid ko.
Na nung bata kami, lahat ng pang-aasar ko sakanya “Unggoy, panget, etc.” ay dinala nya pala hanggang
mag teenager. Nagulat siya nung highschool na may nagkagusto sakanya. Sabi nya, “May magkakagusto
pala sakin, kahit panget ako?” “Pano nangyari to?”

Naiyak ako sa kwento nya. Na ang mga simpleng salita ko pala ay nakapagpabagsak sakanyang
self-esteem dahil araw araw nya itong naririnig nung bata pa sya. Worse, tatlo kaming kuya nya na baka
sa bawat isa ay nakatanggap siya ng lait. Nawala ang kanyang confidence sa sarili. Sobrang guilty ko
dahil naging part ako ng destruction ng confidence nya.
Naalala ko tuloy sarili ko nung first year High School. Hindi ako marunong manligaw. May mga crush
lang ako. Siguro lahat naman tayo dumaan don. May magandang binibini na lagi ko sinasabayan kumain
kasama ng instant bestfriend kong lalaki sa corridor namin.
Tapos meron din naman akong kaibigan rin na kinekwentuhan, babae siya, si Marifin. Magaling si Mafin
magdrawing at magsulat. Nagtanong ako sakanya pano ba manligaw. Sabi nya sumulat daw ako. Ang
panget ng sulat ko parang kalaykay ng manok. So sabi ko siya na lang magsulat, at ilagay din yung
number ko doon. Maikling letter lang sa stationary na papel at ginawa nya pang mini-envelope origami.
Malala pa dun. Siya pa nag-abot sa babae. Haha. Talk about delegation. Lol. Wala akong ineexpect. Basta
ang alam ko nakarating na sakanya yung letter.
Pag-uwi ko may nagtext sa cellphone ko. Si magandang binibini. Wala pang unli-text nun, this was 2004.
Bawat text mo ay piso. So nanghihingi lang ako ng bente sa nanay ko gamit yung 3210 kong mala-eskoba
ng yelo (pero matibay ha at may larong 'Snake'). At bawat reply ko sakanya ay sinusulit ko yung
characters.
Kapag nagrereply siya ng maikli nasasayangan ako. At ang tanda ko nung araw na rin iyon naging kami.
Kami na daw. Tinanong ko sya, “sigurado ka?”. “Ano nakita mo sakin bakit nagustuhan mo ko?”
Pati ako sobrang baba ng self-esteem ko. Nung elementary kasi ako ang dami ko rin natanggap na paulit
ulit na bullying. Al ang nickname ko, so ang daming pwedeng idugtong sa pangalan na Al. “Epal, kupal,
pandesal, almusal”. Ang lala kasi ng epekto ng bullying, mapapaniwala ka na lang na “Pandesal” ka e
dahil paulit ulit sinasabi.
Repetitive messaging is the most basic form of hypnosis. Ating alalahanin.
Ikaw ano yung mga natatandaan mo nung bata ka? Na paulit ulit sinasabi sayo at araw araw mo naririnig,
di mo napansin nadala mo pagtanda mo?
I knew thoughts create feelings/ words, and then put into action. Ang tanong sino ba nagkokontrol ng isip
mo? Ikaw ba? Or bahala na?
Yung video na kumalat na lahat ng mainstream media station na may pareparehas na script? Nakita ko
yun na na-share sa facebook ng isang Meditation/ Yoga guru. Alam kong kalmang tao yun baka may point
siya. Tinignan ko yung comment section at meron isang taong nagcomment post ng post ng memes sa
baba.
Tinignan ko yung profile nung lalaking yun. Activist pala siya. Ang dami nyang pinopost noon na kontra
sa mainstream media at iba pang societal entities. Sinubukan ko siyang i-message. I said “Hello Sir, I
think you are my neighbor in Bel-Air 2. Would love to talk to you about your advocacies”
Tawagin ko na lang siya si Tito Tonying. Magkatukayo kami. Antonio rin siya. Antonio Lorenzo ako.
Nalaman namin ang koneksyon sa bawat isa at nakakasabay ko pala dati sa service ng school ang anak
nya sa dati kong pinagtuturuang Waldorf School.

We connected even more with school topics, and our common friends. He began opening to me like we
were friends for a long time. Before we even talked about the advocacies I wanted to hear, we were
chatting up til midnight and wee hours of the morning. He was great at encouraging me, and he read my
energy correctly.
By the time na inopen up ko yung tungkol sa conspiracies. I wanted to talk about these topics and find the
truth. I opened up that I wanted to expose the elites. I also told him it was not easy bringing up the
conversation at home. Everyone in the house is not interested in the topics. They rather focus on trivial
things, gossip drama, etc.
Sa sobra kong gustong may kausap naghanap talaga ako ng paraan para makakuha ng knowledge.
Naghanap talaga ako ng makakausap. Haha. Pano walang labasan ng bahay di ba? Di rin naman
makapunta sa tropa. Sobrang pili lang ng mga tao na pwedeng pag-usapan mga deep topics. Pagsilip ko
ba naman sa wall nya nakita ko puro pictures ng human farming, Bill Gates being a Eugenic, Pedophilia
in Hollywood.
It was the first time I heard of Adrenochrome, and I wanted to know more. We talked about a lot of topics
in the private messenger. We talked about past lives, Starseeds, Annunakis.
Then I discovered Fall Cabal documentary, A Plan to Save the World, tska Out of Shadows documentary.
It was all through Tito Tonying that each rabbit hole began showing themselves.
I wanted to know about the Great Solar Flash/ The Great Awakening. Gusto ko malaman kung bakit
scripted ang mainstream media at sino ba talaga may-ari? At kung “good” ba ang pakay nila.
Ang kutob ko at knowledge about mainstream media is Billionaires ang may ari. How do they grow their
income? What are their income sources? Advertisements lang ba?
Sa Out of Shadows na documentary nadiscover ko ang “Operation Mockingbird” ng CIA. Out of
Shadows was directed and produced by two former stuntment. They knew the inner workings of
Hollywood, and in extension the media.
Fall Cabal was created by Janet Ossebard a top swiss researcher. She exposed Operation Mockingbird and
how the Elites are running the world and how an alliance is stopping them. Both documentaries offer so
much evidence, that I have to check everything out.
I got rid of Television early. Pano kaya yung iba na araw araw nanunuod? What if scripted din pala yung
mga main headlines/ focal points/ 'propaganda' na araw araw na pinapakita?
Naaexperience din kaya ng mga tao naexperience ng kapatid ko nung paulit ulit namin siyang sinasabihan
ng pangit at naniwala sya? At ako nung bata na paulit ulit nabubully at naniwalang loser ako?
Do you see where I'm getting at? Let's try get deeper into neuroscience.
Ang utak natin ay gawa sa neurons or nerve cells. Noong bata tayo ang brain waves natin ay nasa
tinatawag na “Gamma Waves”. Parang sponge mga utak nati noong bata tayo 0-7 years old. Monkey see,
monkey do. Sobrang bilis natin matuto noong bata tayo. Pero kung ano lang nakikita natin/ naririnig yun
lang napipick up natin. Super elastic brain! Super plastic na pag tanda at napurga ng pharma!
Kaya pag tungtong mo ng 7 years old parang may “personality” ka na or “character”. Naniniwala ako na
pagkalabas natin ng mundo ay meron na tayong gifts and unique individuality na dala. Marami doon ay

nasusupress dahil sa sistema. Everytime that we attach to a principle or habit, we form neural connections
to support it.
Habang tumatanda tayo yung elasticity ng brain nawawala, mas nagiging rigid, mas “solid” ang mga
connections pertaining to your habits/ personality/character/beliefs.
Ngayon kung may lalabas at kokontra ng paniniwala mo. Mas nahihirapan na magbago yung connections
kung di ka aware. Nauuna yung tinatawag ulit nating “Cognitive Dissonance”. Mapapaisip ka, “Buong
buhay ko, ayan paniniwala ko, tinuro sakin ng magulang ko, ng TV, ng teacher, tapos ngayon kabaliktaran
sasabihin mo? Di totoo yan!”
Mas madaling bumalik doon sa same neural patterns para di sumakit ang ulo. Pag pinilit mong baguhin
agad agad, sasakit talaga ulo mo.
Here's my question, would you rather live a comfortable lie? Or the bitter but freeing Truth seeking? If
you haven't felt freedom, you haven't yet discovered the Truth! Or at least the Truths that really matter. Sa
kasamaang palad, hindi ganun kadali magsabi ng Katotohan sa taong nabubuhay sa kasinungalingan,
kailangan sila mismo makakita.
Nasa harap mo, niloloko ka? Yan ang pinakamahirap makita. Bakit ang galing nila "magtago" sa harap
mo? Ano ba ang kaya nilang gawin at kaya nilang makapanloko ng masa?
Sa ilang pulitiko na lumabas sa patalastas, ilang beses na kayo naloko? Anong mga nasa harap mo na pero
hindi mo mahuli huli? Parang ibong nangungutya. Titalaok ng katatawan sa kanyang isip, palipad lipad.
Hindi mo mahuli huli.

21 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 7

Meditation and Silence
Malaki ka na. Kung gusto mo magpatulog sa 21 Day challenge, gamitin mo ang resources mo para
matutong tumahimik at magnilay.

Gawin ito ng humigit Sampung Minuto. Ilathala ang pangyayari pagkatapos:

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Congratulations on Finishing Day 7!